Nacre

Abalone is a species of shellfish (mollusks). The shell of abalone is known for being exceptionally strong. It is made of microscopic calcium carbonate tiles stacked like bricks. It is used to protect its own soft inner body from any harm. You may crumble the outer shell by running over it with a truck but not the inner shell, also known as nacre.

Nacre appears iridescent because the thickness of the aragonite platelets is close to the wavelength of visible light. This results in constructive and destructive interference of different wavelengths of light, resulting in different colors of light being reflected at different viewing angles. (Sounds beautiful, rite? It is...)

You may not see the beauty of a person unless you know him or her for quite some time. So, this is the time where people usually break the ice and destroy the outer shell of a person by socialising with him or her. After some time, you may find the beauty of his or her character...  you may starts to fall in love with him or her. Just like how human admire the beauty of nacre. People even used it as decorations in their home or as accesories. Some people may have a fragile shell but I have a stronger shell just like abalone (I'm not praising myself here as beautiful or strong. Don't get me wrong. )

I may look tough, I may look strong but the inner me is always soft and fragile. This is why I need a strong appearance to protect myself. My nacre.. is it beautiful enough? How will you treat the nacre? Like how human admire the beauty of abalone's nacre? When you like it, you'll take out and polish it, look at it, admire a little more..then put it back to the shelf or your drawers? However, I found some cracks on my "nacre". Cracks that can never be mended.. No matter how hard you try, it will still remain. Over sometime, the cracks might expose the inner me...showing the weakness side of me. How long more can it endure before it really collapse?

The last event re-occured again... It's like a memory cycle.. Where it creates a deeper and more visible scar. I cannot erased it from my memory... The more I see, the more I feel it slicing the inner me. How long more do I have to endure? Will I be immuned? Can I harden my shell? Can I close up the cracks and be crueled? I wanted to.... or should I say...I'm already trying to...

What should I do now? Let go and forget? I can't... it's just like a movie. Where u'll recall the best part, the worst part, and the part that you hate most....Can I stop? Green or red light? I do feel like giving up.... it's tiring.