~Chelle~: His Generosity

*Listening to "With All I Am " Hillsong *

Actually there's something I wanted to say for a very long time but I just dunno how to start with it or pour out all of my inner voice. It's just too much!!

About my job - A lot of ppl tend to ask me, "Why you gave up on the scholarship you got for the nursing diploma in IJN (National Heart Institute)?", "Why you don't work in your own field like medical lab technologist?", "Why work in Astro?", "Why don't you work in the job offered in MediCare?", "Why you don't go for sales in your field?", "Why work as admin?"... there's so many "Why". Actually I myself don't really know why.. haha.

Okay, first why I gave up on the scholarship is because during the interview, I felt like im being mocked by the interviewers and the length for the diploma (I mean diploma.. is diploma only) is 3 years and somemore it's not under IJN itself. Students under IJN scholarship will be sent to different colleges for the nursing diploma. After finishing the diploma, we're going to be placed for posting and after that a secured job in IJN but with the salary of RM1800 ( I think so.. I dont really remember). What I remember in my interview is that, I've told them I wanted to get at least a RM2200 salary for my starting salary but they told me it will only be possible if I go for degree or after i've become a senior and hold a high position.. deng! In addition, after diploma, I'm bounded by a bond of 5 years with IJN @.@ okay... IJN is not bad actually but when I sum up the whole length of time.. it's 8 years for a diploma only!! who wants? I accepted the offer but I didn't turn up to get my air ticket the next day.. haha~ my bad.. i know. (A lot of ppl scolded me for letting it go..but it's my life).

After my degree, I went to look for jobs in MLT field.. search n search. Easily, I got a call from HSC med centre. Interviewed and got the job offered but there's a bond again.. swt, it's 3 years and the salary is RM1600 only. I personally like the hospital very much.. they have loads of equipments. They have the one and only machine to test biomarker C12 (which is one of the cancer tumour marker) in Malaysia. Meaning that if the other hospitals patients need to test for the C12 marker, the samples will be sent over to this hospital (it's a very interesting job n I'll feel proud working in that hosp.. haha~). The manager kept on persuading me to take up the offer after I've declined it by offering increment every year and they will give bonus, bla bla bla.. it's all attracting (it's normal to get those offers in other company too!) but the only thing that I'm afraid of is the length of bond. My friends and relatives kept on telling me to decline it... saying if you dont like the environment, how how how? 3 years lehh... not short.. somemore at the period of time, my aim is to get a car and do sales after 2 years. In the end, I still declined him...

At that same period of time, there's another job offer... which is to work in Ast as Cust Service Exec in their call centre. The pay is super attractive and they have a lot of incentives which can add up your pay to abt 3k per mth for starters.. attractive, rite? (somemore their bonuses can be up to 6-8mths salary! $$$ a lot!!) yeah, but that job is insane. It's an easy job where you only pick calls and talk talk talk.. but the thing is... it's unhealthy. I tend to get sick easily when I was there. I have problems with my digestion, I don't have enough nutrients in my diet... I don't have enough sleep... and I'm overly stressed! It's ok to get normal calls but when you get dispute calls, that's where your headache come from. Ppl shouted at you like you're a dog... ppl shouted at you like you have no value...and you can't even say anything/explain although they are wrong cos for them customer is always right (Somemore, you have to follow up with that case..meaning you don't only talk once with that customer but a few times...arrghh)What an unfair world it is rite? You wan to be fair? not in customer service line esp in A Call Centre..

From then on, I dislike talking to ppl... so during the interview for sales in pharma line, I get so annoyed and irritated by the managers from one of the international company. Went to a few more sales line and MediCare for interview... I was called for 2nd interview, but I've declined all... Got offered by MediCare, but decline again... So what I do I want actually? I dunno too.... I dont feel peaceful at all... seems like something is not rigth but at the same time, I'm frustrated too. Cos I wanted a job so badly and I wish to start work and save money and pay off my loan soon.

I believe God did guide me when I was looking for jobs... I prayed everytime before my interview and I wanted so badly for every job that I've gone for interview. Somehow after my interview, I dont feel secure or peaceful. Why is it so? (God do gv us some hints sometimes, it's just that mayb we are the one ignoring Him )God did gaves me a lot of oppotunities in my life. He gaves us A but we wanted B. He gaves C but we wanted D. In the end, it turns out God is right. A and C might be the better choices for us.. but we never realise in the beginning and only after that we started to regret mayb.. Just like what Ps. Albert had shared with us, higher pay doesn't mean better. Sometimes lower pay, gives you a lot of benefits... mayb not on earth but in heaven. I really believe that God really wanted me to serve Him. He wanted me to spare some time for His ministry.. Working in Ast, definitely won't gv me that time.... n so do sales... yes, time for sales is flexible.. but things can turn the other way round when I needed to go for outstation/overseas.

In the end, He provided me a super hyper comfortable working environment with good bosses and colleagues. Some may say the management is not good, but I believe He can change everything if He wanted to. He always do things which is extraordinary and out of your expectation cos we can never know what He has planned for us. Our wisdom is just a small part of His wisdom. He thinks and plans way beyond ours... ^^. I do feel grateful for all He has done after all of my childish act for refusing to obey him. When we listen, He is willing to help us.. when we open our hearts, He is willing to fill us. When we offer our lives, He more than willing to provide us with everything that we need on earth and promised us treasures in heaven. Now, with my current job, I have plenty of time to prepare my things, I have plenty of time to read His words, I have plenty of time to pray, I have plenty of time to do His works (which is serve His ppl), I have plenty of time to spend with my family (on the phone of cos.. because I wont be exhausted and I still have energy to talk), I have better health, I have more friends, and finally I am able to become myself again after resurrecting from the zombie life. XD I,now, feel closer to Him.... just like a rebirth in last ministry but I want more... more to be filled with him... more closer to Him... more so that I can b free in His Spirit and dwell in His presence. Thank you, Lord.. I love you.

Some snaps for you to see.. hahaha~~

1) My beloved bible after it dropped out from Kevin's car and got rain on for whole night.