Trials

You might have heard a lot of things happening to me lately.. I, myself, did not realize it until one of my close friend told me that she's worried about me cos there's just too much things happening around me. I really thank all of my friends who concerned about me. All I can say is...Arigato Gozaimasu. I'm really grateful to have all of you.

Starting from our dear brother's health to the break-in, sickness (headache, dizziness, flu, nose block, sorethroat, coughing, backache, insomnia) affecting me, dad's injury on the head, newspaper and cooked worm in my lunch, car accident (never thought that I'll have accident right? =) this is my first accident - after 9 years of driving skill..not bad, huh? ^^).. it's just too much. All I can do is give thanks to God and continuously hold unto Him without any doubts.

I believe all these are just trials to test my faith and trust in Him. I believe it's God's plan for me to offer all of my all to Him on last sun too. I initially thought he wanted me to offer what I think the amount is.... but he actually wanted all of my all.. all of my trust and things to live on. Now, without any car, without much money to use or survive for this month, I believe He wanted me to fully trust in Him. 

Why I say without money... it's not because I paid off the accident. No... Initially, I took all of my money from the atm to pay off the accident's summons or etc etc... (after returning from police station, Jacob return it to me without actually telling me he did not pay anything yet but instead he told me everything settled). Without me realizing, I accidentally offered everything and only realized it a day after... haha~ but let me tell you something, I did not regret, I did not worried, I did not blame anyone after the super dramatic day, I still felt surprisingly peaceful.

Last sunday night, Jacob asked why do I seem like there's nothing happening to me at all... like I still can go on with my life without actually showing my ups and downs or things im struggling on. Well, I am not happy in the beginning, not because I'm traumatized by the accident but some other issues, but because I knew I need to worship Him no matter what happened, I started to let go off everything.. Let go of my emotion, let go of my hard feelings, let go of my concern, let go of my disappointment, and be filled with His love, be filled by His presence... In the mid of worshipping Him, He told me... I am your answers. I am the answer for your life. Hold on only unto me...  So, cling on Him no matter what happens. No matter your problem is big or small.. Hold Him tightly and never let go. He will provide everything that you need. He'll do miraculous things for you and me.

**after losing my lappie, I thought I've lost all of my pictures including some memorable ones. Some I've posted in my blog but however, while transporting my prev blog to the current blog, some images are lost and cannot be shown here. While browsing through my hotmail space drive, I found some really memorable pictures - including Connie's pic. She's such a beautiful girl.. wish I can edit and reimport it to that post or a special new post just to remember her? =) Finding these pics are something that comfort me.. hehe~

Things to remember:

- If you are able to cross over the trials, your new chapter of life will begin.

- He's my shelter and comforter, nothing will be against me.