"Silver & gold I do not have, but what I have I give you." Acts 3:6
This is what Meng Yee shared today during the offering session. Yes, I do not have anything with me. I do not have silver or gold or cash but I have time, I have love, I have me. He's like hinting me.. give me your time, spend your all in me.. (the first hint during that gathering). In prayer, I pray... I gave my time to you. Use it as your will.
John 18:1-27 (shared by Joseph)
First question - What's the most unforgettable downfall you ever had in your life?
I was thinking... not very hard.. i knew all about it but I dont feel like sharing it. It's just too shameful. The story is toooooo long. I wish I do not need to bring it up ever in my life (but i'm sure when it's time, when God really wants to use it, I will need to do so...sighh... I gv up.. I gv my all to You).
My life.. it's really alike to what Joseph had mentioned. Alike with Peter's life. Previously, I was a very obedient girl but my life changed when I got a lil rebellious, a lil overconfident, a lil too clever, having a lil thinking of my own. Thinking that I will be forgiven all the time, thinking it's not too wrong, thinking I'm still as good as before. Just like how Peter was in his life...
But denial.. it's like mine. I denied the truth, twisting it a lil, thinking it's orite all the time previously. The shame after the incident.. I tried to hide it (the truth), I tried to climb back, but more problems came... my trust in others, I lost it. My faith in christianity, I lost it. When all things happened around me and my family... I'm drown in pitch black well.
Been lost for almost 1-2 years, God looked for me again. He had never gv up my life. Just like how He looked for Peter when he got back to his origin place. Jesus asked,"Do you love me?". It's like... he's asking me at the same time... "Do you love me?". Again during that sharing, I felt him... He's asking me that very same question. "Do you truly love me more than these?" "Feed my lambs", "Do you truly love me?" "Take care of my sheep", "Do you love me?" "Feed my sheep". I knew deep in my heart, he's talking to me.
I've been running away for too long... Been trying to play hide and seek. But I can no longer run from Him. He's there.. telling me now and then. I'm afraid, I know nothing.. I'm scared, I have no ability that i'm proud of. I'm weak... I'm no one. But He kept telling me... i'm made strong in Him. I'm His love one that he had never give up. I'm a sinner but by His grace, I'm saved.
I give thanks for your grace and mercy.